Following on from the ‘done deal’ Tommy Hughes appeared in his new Mazda. Tommy revealed he traded the fiesta in for a new pair of boots which he used for the first time against Seagoe. No doubt the blue fiesta will be missed!! Good luck to Tommy for the upcoming birth of his first child.
Tommy Hughes informed the squad on Saturday that his famous navy Fiesta was to be sold and the ‘Deal was Done’. Normally the quiet man of the team it has elevated Tommy the Del Boy status and apparently he will be appearing in an Only Fools Christmas Special. Even when offered sandwiches after the game against Richhill he said ‘Mange tous, Mark, Mange tous’. Maybe the ‘Deal was Done’ to buy a yellow Reliant Robin!
Marty McManus has taken over the mantle of Paul McGrath the Ex Man United legend. Marty has trained once this season but still makes it up to watch the rest of the lads knock their pan in!! He does however manage to recover for Saturdays and we are awaiting reports on his drinkin habbits to confirm his ‘McGrath’ status!!!
Rumours are rife that Gav Lunny is to duet with Bruce ‘The Boss’ SPRINGsteen at this years Glastonbury. No doubt Gav will enjoy the smells of freshly cut grass and enjoy the sun going down over the hills. Keep it Rock ‘n’ Roll Gav!!!
Mark Jordan was seeing double recently when both the Ginger Chapmen returned to training recently. It was great to see Ciaran back after a horrific knee injury which nearly ended his career and no doubt it wont be long before he is back challenging for a first team spot.
Lav had grown 4 inches (thanks to the platforms bought at a Beatles Memorobilia Car Boot Sale) since last seen at Crewe Park
Congratulations to Mark McKeown on the birth of his new baby daughter. It was great to see mum and baby up at the Lisanally game and Mark in fine form as usual.
Pete McCabe and Dennis Reid have been spotted cruising on the roads and Bebo!!! Petes new black Beamer has been attracting alot of attention but the ownership of the vehicle still remains disputed according to Bebo messages posted by Dennis.
Christmas past saw the brief return of Paul ‘Lav’ Lavery to Crewe on holidays from his studies in Liverpool. Lav had grown 4 inches (thanks to the platforms bought at a Beatles Memorobilia Car Boot Sale) since last seen at Crewe Park and hopefully it wont be long until he is back permanently in the red and white of Crewe.
It is with great sadness that the club received the news that ‘Lav’ is leaving the club for Liverpool at the end of the season. Apparently they have been after him for some time – he nicked their ball last time he was over!! Paul is heading to study Social work at the John Moores University. He is already on record as saying the team, particularly the captain, is more than welcome to visit for a ‘free’ weekend at Lavs expense. He also confirmed that the booster seat he uses when driving is to be retired until his return.
It has been rumoured that Sean ‘The Ging’ Chapman has been sourcing possible games for Crewe to play out in Ljubljana. Sean though has been studying hard and has not ‘hit the town’ yet according to his twin brother Ciaran – although Ciaran only realised Sean had left for Slovenia when his clothes and shoes had been taken!! Keep up the hard work out there Sean.
“Can you manage dear?” to which Jane replied, “no way you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask me to sort it out!”
Crewe manager Pete Cash was spotted wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an Paddy’s wife, Jane, struggling with her shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which Jane replied, “no way you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask me to sort it out!”
Pete McCabe has signed a lucrative new deal with a top sports company to test a revolution in football technology. The new ‘studs on your ass’ product is designed to help players, such as Pete, who spend most of the game on their rear ends. It comes after Crewe have gone through 10 pairs of shorts for Pete this season, which included two in one game. Pete says he isn’t getting enough protection from referees but he is just happy he is “putting something back into the game” through these tests.
Mark Mulholland has offered his new apartment in Portugal to the footballers free of charge over the summer. The only request Mark had was that the lads stop trying to explain the offside rule and ignore the runs he makes every Saturday unless the opposition have a player on the goal line!
Donard ‘The Tank’ Shannon has signed up to anger management courses. He left the game against Portadown BBOB feeling like a “Ballboy” and allegedly, apparently, took his anger out on unassuming spectators and the referee. The first step in his rehabilitation was to meet the Lower Maze Keeper, Mickey McFarland for coffee and scones and discuss the ‘pleasantries’ that were exchanged during the recent derby game.
Fintan has offered Michael a Rolex paid for by the club to time his tackles better.
Scotty Mulligan has demanded a refund of all ‘subs’ he has paid this season. After being told these were used for cleaning the kits he was in a rage as everyone knows Scotty doesn’t tackle and never gets dirty, heaven forbid, his hair doesn’t even get out of place during a game. Scotty wishes to donate the subs to the Andy Adrain campaign which has set out to ban all forms of dancing as he never feels like dancing, isn’t that right Andy!! Well, except when there are handbags on the floor!
Michael Kelly has been warned by Secretary Fintan Murray about the number of penalty points picked up for bookings this season. Rumour has it Fintan has offered Michael a Rolex paid for by the club to time his tackles better. Apparently a referee said to Michael after a recent booking “that tackle was late” and Michael replied “I got there as quick as I could!”
Aidso McCrory has expressed concern about the amount of money spent on preparing for this years Warrington trip. To date, Aidso has bought a pair of shoes and slippers for each day, just in case. Apparently the floors in the Peace Centre are cold on your feet – according to Aidso anyway!
Ciaran Chapman, not known for his brains caused hysterics in the changing room. Given a jigsaw for Christmas, Chappers came into the club bragging about how he had finished it after 6 months. When asked why he was so chuffed he said on the box it said 3 to 6 years!
Thomas McKenna has been letting his chest hair grow for over 7 months now after shaving it for a brief period of time. Thomas is determined to look more and more like the Hoff everyday and has been heard singing the Hoff’s latest single “Jump In My Car” as well as calling his fellow team mates Kitt! He can also be seen sporting a pair of those famous red shorts at charity matches along with performing the Baywatch tune. The amount raised so far for the David Hasselhoff foundation by Thomas is an amazing £3.50! www.davidhasselhoff.com